it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
