And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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