in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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