Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
