the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize