Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
