We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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