She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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