Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
