I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
