So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
