Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
