@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
