I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
