Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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