We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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