end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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