I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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