And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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