I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My ass is underappreciated
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
