No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
