Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
