If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
