I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
