The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
