Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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