I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
