Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
