i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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