this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
