How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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