I love black thongs
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
