Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
