He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize