Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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