Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
