Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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