I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
