she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize