White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize