Screwed.edu
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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