Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
