We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
