They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
