why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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