At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
