he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
