actually, I'm a sock model
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
