well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
