And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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