She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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