Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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