Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
