Don't make out with my wife yet
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
