Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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