just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
