Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
