I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
