The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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